sekali rengkuh, mengutuh.
jangan kau lepas nanti rapuh.
sekali rengkuh tersentuh.
jangan dihempas nanti lumpuh.
aku hanya seputaranmu.
sejengkal Tuhan.
dekap aku perlahan-lahan (28 juli 2011)

cuma lagi ingat sama kamu..

cuma lagi ingat sama kamu..saat saya ingin fokus mengerjakan tugas dan terbuai dengan tampilan twitter yang lebih menarik..saat itu kamu akan mengingatkan agar saya kembali fokus.
itu kebiasaan mu..kamu akan menelfon nonstop dan menemani saya dari jauh walaupun sebenarnya saya tidak hobby berbincang lama di telfon.
saya ingat kamu..saat saya ke M@t4har! dan ke tempat yang paling sering 'kita' 'dulu' datangi saat kamu mencari baju..kamu suka mencari baju kaos lengan panjang dengan warna aman..
nama mu muncul di pikiran saya saat bulan puasa sebentar lagi datang..dan saya berpikir dengan siapa kamu melewatinya tahun ini ..setelah 4 lebaran yang 'kita' lewati 'dulu'!!
puasa pertama kita,kamu menitipkan ku di masjid kompleks karna belum mau ketahuan orang rumah kalau kita buka puasa bareng.
saya ingat kamu..karna saya sadar sekali lagi saya menyakiti orang yang menyayangi saya.
saya juga sayang kamu. tapi itu dulu.
jaga diri, please!!

sarjana oh sarjana

inilah masa dimana segala yang sesuatu yang sebelumnya di anggap enteng menjadi sulit dan berat. begitu banyak temptation!!
bahkan untuk mengetik satu kalimat pendek membutuhkan waktu sebulan bagiku. dan lagi-lagi diversionnya bertubi-tubi..yang luar biasanya adalah niatku yang sebelumnbya mencari tempat yang tenang untuk mengerjakan proposal gagal akibat jari-jari ku yang seperti di gantungi batu..dan lebih ringan saat menulis di blog ini.
mama sudah mulai menyerang dengan berbagai pertanyaan atau bahkan pernyataan yang kadang membuat ku kesal sekaligus takut tidak bisa selesai seperti yang sudah ku targetkan.  sarjana oh sarjana...
ya Allah, lagi-lagi aku minta bantuan-MU! kuatkan hati ku..jauhkan gangguan ya Allah....
bantu hamba menyelesaikan proposal ku, ubah segera menjadi skripsi, dan ijinkan agustus nanti saya memakai TOGA!
amin.

"Thinking Of You"

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on 
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you 
What you would do if
You were the one 
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy 
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in 
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you 
What you would do if
You were the one 
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you 
What you would do if
You were the one 
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes 
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through 
And bust in the door 
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...

.katy perry.

#MMG in crisis

#MMG adalah kumpulan 5 orang anak gadis - dan memang masih gadis. saya satu-satunya yang berumur lebih tua setahun dari mereka. kami bersama-sama duduk di bangku kuliah di salah satu Universitas Negeri di Makassar - oke, memang namanya UNM.
kami mahasiswi  fakultas bahasa jurusan bahasa inggris, hanya prodi kami berbeda. lagi-lagi saya satu-satunya yang mengambil sastra sedangkan empat lainnya mengambil bisnis.
@kireihana2 (saya sendiri), @silvikavika , @inthyeeFitRyaa , @MeilhaniE dan @JBHmud .
kami suka foto-foto, nyanyi-nyanyi, jalan-jalan, makan-makan, tidur-tiduran, dan kerja tugas barengan.
kami seringkali sangat berisik saat sudah berkumpul dan menemukan topik candaan.
nama #MMG sendiri diberikan secara spontan oleh salah seorang senior kami. hahaha
untuk artinya sendiri, cuma kami dan Tuuhan yang tahu.

i love them ALL.
mungkin karena mereka sehingga saya tidak menjadi gila setelah 'kejadian' yang menimpa saya.
mereka bisa membawa senyum dan gelak tawa yang benar-benar mebuat saya tersenyum  hingga saya pulang ke rumah, sendirian, dan kegalauan itu datang lagi.
saya menyayangi mereka.
Dan saya bukan penjilat. meski demikian saya tidak bisa bilang kalau saya tidak mengharapkan apa-apa dari mereka. saya butuh untuk menghirup udara yang sama dengan mereka.
saya butuh menatap wajah mereka hingga apa yang saya lihat bisa saya kirim ke otak, lalu otak bisa memprosesnya sebagai kebahagiaan.
sahabat saya bukan hanya #MMG .. saya juga punya Kireihana yang sejak SMA punya tempat tersendiri di hati ku.
hanya saja #MMG mereka anak kecil yang mengajarkanku dewasa dan kuat, manja dan bersenang-senang, berisik dan merindukan Kireihana.


dan ini note kami untuk mu yang belum mengerti betapa kami menyayangi mu.
kami bukan orang yang akan lari saat sahabat kami butuh. bukan cuma dalam materi tapi juga Moril.
moril bukan hanya dalam masalah percintaan, tapi juga masa depan mu.
masa depan bukan hanya masalah jodoh, tapi juga pendidikanmu.

sahabat bukan dia yang membenarkan setiap perkataan mu tapi yang berkata benar untuk memperbaiki mu.

jangan tersinggung saat kami mencoba mengkritik, kami hanya tidak ingin kamu jalan teralu jauh hingga kamu terkilir padahal kami sebenarnya bisa menuntunmu. kami tidak akan ikut campur dalam hal pribadi mu. itu privasi dan kami mengerti.
hanya saja kami tidak ingin ada yang melukai mu.

kami tidak suka kamu menjauh, membenci, menghina dan hal lainya karena sangat menyakitkan hati.
jangan diam, mari bicara. dan kita akan berangkulan lagi layaknya teletubbies.

merindu ku senja ini pada jingga
rintik-rintik dari langit membuyarkannya
mendung masih terjaga saat tak ada lagi cahaya membayang
saat gamang mari pulang

the zahir

novel ini sudah ada di atas meja ku beberapa minggu. pemberian dari seseorang yang merasa dirinya yakin dan bukan nekat. ^_^
sama sekali belum saya buka. saya menunggu waktu santai untuk meluangan waktu penuh ku untuk membacanya.
hanya aku, dia, secangkir coklat (dan mungkin sepotong kue).

tapi semalam, buku ini menggodaku untuk membuka lembaran awal, dan saya menemukan ini:

zahir dalam bahasa arab berarti terlihat, ada, tak mungkin diabaikan.
zahir adalah seseorang atau sesuatu yang sekali kita mengadakan kontak dengannya atau dengan itu, lambat laun memenuhi seluruh pikiran kita, sampai kita tak bisa berpikir tentang hal-hal lain. keadaan itu bisa dianggap sebagai tingkat kesucian atau kegilaan.

the Zahir/paulo coelho/encyclopedia of the fantastic (1953)

once upon a love

pengalihan mu begitu baik.
pertahananku rapuh kan pesonamu.
potongan-potongan masa indah pun berlompatan menyesaki imaji.
dari cara mu mengangumkan ku, buat ku tersipu, bisikan syahdu mu, tatapan mata yang menghujam jantung, kata-kata manis yang selalu terkenagn, dan jari-jari tanganmu yang besar, halus serta hangat.
membencimu membuatku merindukanmu, kau cinta yang selalu kuingnkan tetapi kusesali.
kau harus menjadi kenangan dalam kotak yang akan kubakar jadi debu.
terkhusus jari tengahmu, senyum pahit untuknya.

suatu saat nanti..

merasai hujan dengan ari jemari ..
air langit selalu mampu mengkail kenangan.
manis atau ironis.
cardigan abu-abu polkadot,headset putih, gold smartphone dan ... (tak usah disebutkan)
penantian sore untuk aktifitas umum..
demi dramatisasi suasana..lagu melow korea mangalun membelai daun telinga.
bau lumut dan tanah basah..
bunyi gemercik air dan sepatu kanvas.
saya masih sabar menanti hingga saat nanti 'waktu' menepu pundakku dan mengabarkan operasi atas patah hatiku t'lah berhasil :)

ini rahasia

selesai  membaca satu novel tebal..
tadi rasanya begitu terhanyut dalam ceritanya
ikutan sedih, manyun, senang, malu, perih, marah, juga kesemsem.
begitu selesai membaca kemudian menutup buku.
rasanya aneh harus kembali ke dunia nyata. dimana mata ku memang bengkak krn tangisan,
tapi tangisan untuk orang yang masih sama.

tugas poetry 2

oh, Tuhan! panjangnya puisi ini..

LADY OF SHALLOT

I was trying to analysis the poem The Lady of Shallot by Alfred Lord Tennyson using Genetic Structuralism.

PART I 

On either side the river lie 
Long fields of barley and of rye, 
That clothe the wold and meet the sky; 
And thro’ the field the road runs by 
       To many-tower’d Camelot; 
And up and down the people go, 
Gazing where the lilies blow 
Round an island there below, 
       The island of Shalott. 

Willows whiten, aspens quiver, 
Little breezes dusk and shiver 
Thro’ the wave that runs for ever 
By the island in the river 
       Flowing down to Camelot. 
Four gray walls, and four gray towers, 
Overlook a space of flowers, 
And the silent isle imbowers 
       The Lady of Shalott. 

By the margin, willow veil’d, 
Slide the heavy barges trail’d 
By slow horses; and unhail’d 
The shallop flitteth silken-sail’d 
       Skimming down to Camelot: 
But who hath seen her wave her hand? 
Or at the casement seen her stand? 
Or is she known in all the land, 
       The Lady of Shalott? 

Only reapers, reaping early 
In among the bearded barley, 
Hear a song that echoes cheerly 
From the river winding clearly, 
       Down to tower’d Camelot: 
And by the moon the reaper weary, 
Piling sheaves in uplands airy, 
Listening, whispers “ ’Tis the fairy 
       Lady of Shalott.” 

   PART II 

There she weaves by night and day 
A magic web with colours gay. 
She has heard a whisper say, 
A curse is on her if she stay 
       To look down to Camelot. 
She knows not what the curse may be, 
And so she weaveth steadily, 
And little other care hath she, 
       The Lady of Shalott. 

And moving thro’ a mirror clear 
That hangs before her all the year, 
Shadows of the world appear. 
There she sees the highway near 
       Winding down to Camelot: 
There the river eddy whirls, 
And there the surly village-churls, 
And the red cloaks of market girls, 
       Pass onward from Shalott. 

Sometimes a troop of damsels glad, 
An abbot on an ambling pad, 
Sometimes a curly shepherd-lad, 
Or long-hair’d page in crimson clad, 
       Goes by to tower’d Camelot; 
And sometimes thro’ the mirror blue 
The knights come riding two and two: 
She hath no loyal knight and true, 
       The Lady of Shalott. 

But in her web she still delights 
To weave the mirror’s magic sights, 
For often thro’ the silent nights 
A funeral, with plumes and lights 
       And music, went to Camelot: 
Or when the moon was overhead, 
Came two young lovers lately wed: 
“I am half sick of shadows,” said 
       The Lady of Shalott. 

       PART III 

A bow-shot from her bower-eaves, 
He rode between the barley-sheaves, 
The sun came dazzling thro’ the leaves, 
And flamed upon the brazen greaves 
       Of bold Sir Lancelot. 
A red-cross knight for ever kneel’d 
To a lady in his shield, 
That sparkled on the yellow field, 
   Beside remote Shalott. 

The gemmy bridle glitter’d free, 
Like to some branch of stars we see 
Hung in the golden Galaxy. 
The bridle bells rang merrily 
       As he rode down to Camelot: 
And from his blazon’d baldric slung 
A mighty silver bugle hung, 
And as he rode his armour rung, 
       Beside remote Shalott. 

All in the blue unclouded weather 
Thick-jewell’d shone the saddle-leather, 
The helmet and the helmet-feather 
Burn’d like one burning flame together, 
       As he rode down to Camelot. 
As often thro’ the purple night, 
Below the starry clusters bright, 
Some bearded meteor, trailing light, 
       Moves over still Shalott. 

His broad clear brow in sunlight glow’d; 
On burnish’d hooves his war-horse trode; 
From underneath his helmet flow’d 
His coal-black curls as on he rode, 
       As he rode down to Camelot. 
From the bank and from the river 
He flash’d into the crystal mirror, 
“Tirra lirra,” by the river 
       Sang Sir Lancelot. 

She left the web, she left the loom, 
She made three paces thro’ the room, 
She saw the water-lily bloom, 
She saw the helmet and the plume, 
       She look’d down to Camelot. 
Out flew the web and floated wide; 
The mirror crack’d from side to side; 
“The curse is come upon me,” cried 
       The Lady of Shalott. 

       PART IV 

In the stormy east-wind straining, 
The pale yellow woods were waning, 
The broad stream in his banks complaining, 
Heavily the low sky raining 
       Over tower’d Camelot; 
Down she came and found a boat 
Beneath a willow left afloat, 
And round about the prow she wrote 
       The Lady of Shalott. 

And down the river’s dim expanse 
Like some bold seër in a trance, 
Seeing all his own mischance— 
With a glassy countenance 
       Did she look to Camelot. 
And at the closing of the day 
She loosed the chain, and down she lay; 
The broad stream bore her far away, 
       The Lady of Shalott. 

Lying, robed in snowy white 
That loosely flew to left and right— 
The leaves upon her falling light— 
Thro’ the noises of the night 
       She floated down to Camelot: 
And as the boat-head wound along 
The willowy hills and fields among, 
They heard her singing her last song, 
       The Lady of Shalott. 

Heard a carol, mournful, holy, 
Chanted loudly, chanted lowly, 
Till her blood was frozen slowly, 
And her eyes were darken’d wholly, 
       Turn’d to tower’d Camelot. 
For ere she reach’d upon the tide 
The first house by the water-side, 
Singing in her song she died, 
       The Lady of Shalott. 

Under tower and balcony, 
By garden-wall and gallery, 
A gleaming shape she floated by, 
Dead-pale between the houses high, 
       Silent into Camelot. 
Out upon the wharfs they came, 
Knight and burgher, lord and dame, 
And round the prow they read her name, 
       The Lady of Shalott. 

Who is this? and what is here? 
And in the lighted palace near 
Died the sound of royal cheer; 
And they cross’d themselves for fear, 
       All the knights at Camelot: 
But Lancelot mused a little space; 
He said, “She has a lovely face; 
God in his mercy lend her grace, 
       The Lady of Shalott.”

Analysis:

Ø    Biography:  Alfred Tennyson (1809-1892), English poet often regarded as the chief representative of the Victorian age in poetry. Tennyson succeeded Wordsworth as Poet Laureate in 1850.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson was born on August 5, 1809 in Somersby, Lincolnshire. His father, George Clayton Tennyson, a clergyman and rector, suffered from depression and was notoriously absentminded. Alfred began to write poetry at an early age in the style of Lord Byron. After spending four unhappy years in school he was tutored at home. Tennyson then studied at Trinity College, Cambridge, where he joined the literary club 'The Apostles' and met Arthur Hallam, who became his closest friend. Tennyson published Poems, Chiefly Lyrical, in 1830, which included the popular "Mariana".

His next book, Poems (1833), received unfavorable reviews, and Tennyson ceased to publish for nearly ten years. Hallam died suddenly on the same year in Vienna. It was a heavy blow to Tennyson. He began to write "In Memoriam", an elegy for his lost friend - the work took seventeen years. "The Lady of Shalott", "The Lotus-eaters" "Morte d'Arthur" and "Ulysses" appeared in 1842 in the two-volume Poems and established his reputation as a writer.

After marrying Emily Sellwood, whom he had already met in 1836, the couple settled in Farringford, a house in Freshwater on the Isle of Wight in 1853. From there the family moved in 1869 to Aldworth, Surrey. During these later years he produced some of his best poems.

Among Tennyson's major poetic achievements is the elegy mourning the death of his friend Arthur Hallam, "In Memoriam" (1850). The patriotic poem "Charge of the Light Brigade", published in Maud (1855), is one of Tennyson's best known works, although at first "Maud" was found obscure or morbid by critics ranging from George Eliot to Gladstone. Enoch Arden (1864) was based on a true story of a sailor thought drowned at sea who returned home after several years to find that his wife had remarried. Idylls Of The King (1859-1885) dealt with the Arthurian theme.

In the 1870s Tennyson wrote several plays, among them the poetic dramas Queen Mary (1875) and Harold (1876). In 1884 he was created a baron.

Tennyson died at Aldwort on October 6, 1892 and was buried in the Poets' Corner in Westminster Abbey.

Ø    Analysis: In The Lady of Shallot, Alfred Tennyson tells a story of sadness and disappointment.   This story is showing how a person crushed his life somehow.   My guess would be he had his heart broken and felt trapped in depression. 
In the beginning he talks about the scenery and how beautiful it is but he can't get out to go where everything is ok in Camelot.   He sees people enjoying their lives and longs to join them outside in the freedom of the world.   He realizes he is trapped in the castle just like a prisoner.   He feels as if nobody can see or hear him.
Later, he sees all the great things Camelot has to offer him but is reminded that if he goes a curse will fall upon him.   He watches the whole world pass him by but he is scared by just the threat of the curse so he stays.   
He realizes just how alone he is wishing he had a lover to be with, someone to keep him company.   He sees a new couple deeply in love and he watches wishing someone would come along.
In the next stanzas he meets someone and is completely stunned by her beauty and charm she is perfect in his eyes.   Everything she does is right to him the way she walks and talks and presents herself, but she doesn't even know he is alive.   He decides he can't take not being with her so he leaves the castle to go find his love he knows the curse has got him but he would rather live for just one more day in love and with hope then 100 years of sadness, regret and despair. 
He goes out looking for her but can't find her then the cures begins to take him and he starts to die before he can ever tell her how he feels but he would still prefer to die like this than in the prison of a castle. 
After he dies she finds him and realizes how good he really was but it's too late.

” All the knights at Camelot: 
But Lancelot mused a little space; 
He said, “She has a lovely face; 
God in his mercy lend her grace, 
       The Lady of Shalott.”
This was a very long poem. I think it was about a woman he wanted but could never had and he knew it.   The poem was about realizing he could never have her.

tugas poetry

siapa tahu aja ada yang senasib dan butuh sedikit pencerahan...

I was trying to analysis the poem Ozymandias by Percy Bysshe Shelley using Structuralism.

OZYMANDIAS

I met a traveller from an antique land

Who said: `Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert... Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.

And on the pedestal these words appear --

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Analysis:

this poem’s ability to convey several different meanings, In addition to telling an intriguing story, this poem also contains an insightful moral.

The name of the poem, “Ozymandias,” is generally believed to refer to Ramesses the Great, Pharaoh of the Nineteenth Dynasty of ancient Egypt. The sonnet includes a paraphrase of the inscription found on the base of the statue. This message reads, "King of Kings am I, Ozymandias. If anyone would know how great I am and where I lie, let him surpass one of my works."

In the first line “I met a traveller from an antique land...” the author recalling a time when he met a traveler from an “antique” land. Antique is a symbol for the ancient land of Egypt.

In the line,” two vast and trunkless legs of stand in the desert” an enjambment is used. Imagery is used to paint a picture of the remnants of Ramses’ II Egyptian Empire. “Two trunkless legs of stone” are the only remains of a stone statue modeled after Ramses that was once 57ft tall (I get the source from Wikipedia). There is no longer a body or a torso, only two legs standing on a pedestal.

“Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown…” is what used to be the statue’s face. The face is described to have a “frown and wrinkled lip and a “sneer of cold command”. These descriptions are symbols of Ramses’ II personality. From the frown and sneer on his face, we can conclude that he was an angry and fierce ruler.

“Tell that its sculptor well those passions read” it was an anastrophe. The sculptor was able to capture Ramses II personality and who he truly was through the statue’s facial expressions.

In the line: “The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed” the author uses alliteration with the letter “t”. Also, Shelley uses the word mock as a pun. In this case, mock is meant to mean both created and ridiculed. In the phrase, “the heart that fed” the heart symbolizes Ramses’ II emotions and passions and fed is used as a metaphor, because the heart did not literally feed the emotions and passions to the statue.

“My name is Ozymandias King of Kings look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!” When broken down the Greek name Ozymandias has an interesting meaning. The root Ozy means air and the root Mandias means to rule. So, Ozymandias literally means “ruler of air”. This is ironic because there is truly nothing left of Ozymandias’ empire but air. This name mocks Ramses II and ridicules his rule and works. King of Kings is an allusion to Jesus and symbolizes how important Ramses II thought himself to be. Through the engraving, Ramses II dared someone to challenge him and his works. However, whoever dared to challenge him would end up defeated and hopeless.

In the lines, “Round the decay of that colossal wreck boundless and bare.” that true irony, The engraving on the pedestal no longer applies, because his works are vanished and destroyed, he is no longer the “King of Kings”.

The last line “the lone and level sands stretch far away” really captures the irony of the sonnet. The once large empire is now just an empty desert, with nothing more than sand for miles and miles. Apart from the destroyed statue there is no other sign that in this desert, there was once a huge and powerful empire.

In addition, the poem Ozymandias follows an interesting and unique rime scheme of ABABACDCEDEFEF. This can be broken down into a somewhat simpler interlocking rime scheme of ABABA CDC EDE FEF. There is some use of half rhymes in words such as “stone” and “frown,” as well as “appear” and “despair.”

TAHUN BARU 2012

"Untukmu yang merasa sendiri karena ditinggalkan. Cobalah ingat, betapa cerianya engkau dulu sebelum dia datang dan membuatmu jatuh cinta kepadanya?"

"Sudahlah. Lupakanlah dia. Dulu engkau berbahagia tidak mengenalnya, dan engkau bisa tetap berbahagia setelah pernah mengenalnya."

kutinggalkan semua kenangan buruk bersamamu di tahun kemarin, sadar belum bisa berlari, saya merangkak menyambut mentari 2012.

kalian yang telah menorehkan luka, saya juga tidak sempurna, mari saling memaafkan.

kalian yang selalu bersama ku, terima kasih banyak, tanpa kalian suram kan tampak sangat jelas terasa.

2012, saya berharap sgala yang terbaik.

terlalu banyak harapan bisa membuat kecewa jika tak terkabul

Ernawati C.S (calon sarjana)